bleeeeh

So for the first time in my life, I find myself depressed to be NOT going back to school. Just the ambience, the people I usually see... I really miss all that. Red wanted to crash orientation with me but I decided not to be cause I have work and if you did it right the first time, one ACJC orientation's quite enought to live through, thank you very much. I swear I had mud I didn't know mud could get...

Maybe a bit of the other reason is that I didn't want to go and watch a whole bunch of people starting their ACJC experience for the first time. I envy them that. I had a great 2 years, made some really good friends and I wish it weren't over. But it is and I shall content myself with crashing Spectra meetings. :)

Anyhow, I'm trying to bury myself in my job a little (a job which I might not have by the end of the month... Damn you HR people who want a five-day week for 400$ a month. NOBODY would do the work you want for that.) and now... I'm even more depressed.

I've been looking for info on the Dragon Boaters who drowned in Cambodia in November and... it's very sobering poking around on the memorial blogs and whatnot. Actually screw that, it's bloody depressing. Still, I've got enough material now that I think I can call it a day and go assassinate someone in the Harbour of Damascus. Or wherever else it is I'm in Assassin's Creed right now.

This is a compltely depressing new-year post. Yeuch.

Finish the fight

Mainly to get it out of the way: prelims sucked. Panicking kinda. Don't wanna talk or think about it. This will also probably be my last post beofre the A levels start or finish. Now that that's outta the way...

OMFG. HALO 3!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! HALO 3 HALO 3 HALO 3 HALO 3!!! Finally. It came out yesterday and I'm not doing anything about it. Exceot trying to win the Legendary edition. So if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go try and do that.

Did I mention Halo 3?

Gearing up

This would be me if I weren't up to my eyeballs with revision Wondering how to live those final few days till September the 25th, the US release of Halo 3. DT, when told of my plans to get a 360 after the A Levels offered to babysit it for me so I could buy it immediately after Halo 3 comes out, get my Halo 3 and Gears of War but still not be tempted to play with it. He claims he'll give it back after the A levels. What a proposition. I had really had to think for a minute there- on whether to just laugh my ass off or throw something at him. (I settled on the fromer; he is still a tracher after all.)

Honours night attire check passed and cleared! Oh my gawd court shoes are uncomfortable. Which moron invented the concept that all women's shoes have to bloody uncomfortable when they look nice and don't cost a literal bomb?!? Must have been a man. And stockings? Don't even get me started... Ugh, I am not looking forward to growing up and getting a job. Or at least one in the private sector.

On a more serious note, prelim results come out tomorrow so if I dissapear after that, it's because I failed evrything and have either entered the life of a recluse or committed suicide. Ugh, I'm not sure I can take failing everything. Math and Chem I might maje it through- depending on how badly I fail but if I flunk econs and Bio too... Urgh.

I shall go drown my sorrows in Economist articles.

Bang

Well, holidays are almost over and I've been laregly unproductive, unreconciled with my probable failure of the prelims, unaccepting of the fact that I have less than two months to the A levels and f***ing depressed that I can't come up with a halfway decent CCA/CIP list for SCG. Or SGC. Fine, I blow at acronyms, bite me.

Doing this though makes me realise I want to KILL DAVID for not getting us registered for the CIP we did with Kids Read. *drifts in to a pleasent dream of stabbing a senior* Yup. Damn, shouldn've gone for this one.

I feel like there's a whole batch of contemplative, angsty shit I want to say right now but it won't come out right and I'm not in the mood to sound like a drama queen. So I'm just going to hang on till Monday when school starts again and I can drown my sorrows and confusion in the loud, hedonistic pleasure of living. Because really, introspection SUCKS BALLS.

On some level I feel bad about the angst but I think I'm largely too pissed to care.

Dammit, I need a hug.

Going to drag my brother along for open house tomorrow. If he doesn't chicken out at the last minute.

those goddmn bastards! they ate everything!

So, in my (non-existent) June hols life, something fun and interesting has actually happened (other than that sad, lone spoectra outing which was a blast): the termites have invaded my parents' bedroom. Quick back story: we've been having a wee bit of a termite infestation that was found by yours truely in the book shelves in the corridor outside my parents room some two months ago. We removed the shelves, threw out a whole bunch of books *cries*, sprayed the whole lot with termite powder and found out more about the internal structure of a termite nest than I think should be healthy. And no, we did not find the queen. Yes, my dad did get bitten by some "soldier" drone or something and yes, we did have to rip out bits of the floor boards and skirting. Also, termite colonies make strange scratching noises and a weird pattering sound like rainfall on a tin roof (only much softer).-

So after we found a bunch in my brother's ed frame (and the bathroom door), we thought we were safe. The tyranny of the termites was over! (hey, that was aliterative!) Only... it isn't.

My mom found a whole bunch behind the TV! O.o So the second half of my morning was spent cleaning up termites and helping chisel up bits of the floor. Fun. :)

Oh my god I need to get a life.

I never thought I'd say this, but I CAN'T WAIT FOR SCHOOL TO START. Clearly four weeks of undiluted time in my younger brother's company is starting to get to me.

Oh, and the termite guy's coming some time next week.

New Computer

Cyanide & Happiness @ Explosm.net

I wanna hatch a quater.

Well, after my last emo-ish random post, I have this to say:

SCHOOL LIBRARY NEW COMS OMGOMGOMG PRETTYSEXYNEWCOMSFROMACER.

Wait... Acer... oh. Hell, they're dual-core which means no more lag! Friggen yes! And I've sketched out the issue of the Spectra webcomic I was supposed to and the June hols are nearly upon us! Life looks good. :)

Except I deleted something like 70 hours of my Final Fantsy Tactics Advance last night by accident. Damn. And though they're faster, the school coms do still have the same old internet connection which won't let me get on DeviantArt because it contains "culture and heritage" (I kid you not) but gives me full access to blogger and is kinda slow (the way I'm kinda crazy). Still, fangirling over the new coms with Red was strangely theraputic. They have pretty blue flashy lights. :D

Wish I could get a 360 for my birthday... Yes 360, thou of the sexy clean lines, pure virginial white finish and totally kick-ass wireless controllers. Would that we might be together, playing countless hours of Halo together (because one day I hope to be able to kick Legendary) and waiting in eagre anticipation for a true god amongst mortals, Halo 3, to grace us with its presence.

I am fully aware I am completly insane. With me as grounded as I am though, I'm gonna count myself lucky to get Minutes to Midnight and watch PoTC The World's End for my birthday.

Everytime someone mentions my birthday, my brothe goes (in this incredulous voice): "18? You can't be 18! You're still so small!"

Damn boys; why do they have to be taller than girls anyway?

Meandering 1

Friday again, another week passed without event and man, I need another life.

Can I have yours? Mine's f***ed up.

Have to do a ton of econs reading this weekend. Red just had her econs test and it was bloody hard and she's taking an "easier" paper than me. And since we have the same teacher... Evil, the cool teachers are always the evil ones. Makes me vaguely glad DT doesn't actually teach my class...

If you thought I was a geek for Spidey, you should see this. See? I just wore my Spidey t-shirt and Spidey bag from Universal studios and saved my ticket stubs and had to watch the movie with a theatre of screaming little five-year olds...

So full of hate.

Remeber that one make traditional artist we have in Spectra? Yeah... I think the bunny girl's trying to turn him gay... crap. We're turning into a cesspool of decadence!

Anger management

Just found out that I failed my vectors test. Don't know how badly I did since we don't have the papers back yet but the teacher told me I flunked. Which is why I am now colosally pissed. Hopefully a little running with Steffi later will sort some of that out.

I don't even want to talk about the bio test today because I'll probably do hell of alot worse for it than I thought I did. Just like chem, the last bio test, the last econs test, the last math test... I don't know whether it's because I'm screwing myself over in karma by thinking They went well or if I'm really such a lousy judge of my abilities. I KNOW what the logical answer is (I always do. Sometimes I hate being bloody rational and logical) but I like to think it's the karma...

Now I feel bad because my blog is slowly being overwhelmed by the tidal wave of angst I swore I would never let engulf it. So shoo, scroll on down, pretend you didn;t read that last passage. Shoo.

I should be studying for GP but I've only got one passage left and I read the whole thing in effectively a day (twenty-four hours or so) so I'm feeling virtuous and lazy. Always a brilliant combination.

DIGITAL LIFE TODAY!!! OMG! HALO 3 BETA!!!

Only for XBox live gold members; f***ing prudes. I'm losing it for Halo though... My brother's beating me!! NOOOOOOOOOOOOO! My life is over! Damn evil little brother; I swear he's been practicing. I need to spend more time blasting aliens. I love how they bleed blue. And when they die, the Elites fire off a coupla wold shots that go in a pretty arc. I've never actually seen the Grunts explode though they're supposed to be carrying methane tanks to breathe... Pity. Maybe the graphics and physics engine in Halo 3 will ammend that.

I have $350 for my XBox 360 fund. Anyone wanna contribute? If I can get it before Halo 3 comes out, I can warm up for the 1337ness by wearing out my thumbs on Gears of War. A wonderful opportunity to fall in love with the chainsaw I'm sure...

Funnily enough, the main character's MarcusFenix... Tis a sign I tell ye!

I feel vaguely guilty for having done so much fangirling the main reader (Steffi)of my blog won't get but it's better than the angst, right? Right?

Dramatic intervention

Uh, I don't know why the title's what it is but it is so... yeah. Been kinda stressed/busy/tired lately. Betwenn the painting (which was fun), helping my brother study for his exams, designing three mothers day cards, an anniversary card, a chem and a math paper, it's been... yeah. Man, I need sleep.

Okay, that was my little whine-out. Time for more... fun stuff... *maniacal grin* I love being crazy. But I think I'm still a little too out-of-it to be properly nuts. It takes a lot of energy I'll have you know. Coffee helps.

Dinner last night wasn't much fun; though the food was interesting. I'm not exactly a stranger to fancy restaurants but I barely recognized anything on the menue. And as much as I like him, I never want to sit next to my younger cousin for a fancy dinner again- or at least until he gets a little older. At least dad got some good photos of the four of us kids. Including my uber cute baby cousin. :3

ARGH, this post is pointless! I shall end it and not waste any more valuable internet space.

Overload

Two posts in one day; it's the "new-blog-rush".

I'm starting to remember why I don't stick to blogging; it's too damn depressing to read everyone else's posts.

Still... time to grow up I suppose and that probably includes learning to deal with other people's emotional baggage. It's not like these people aren't my friends anyway. And if I'm happy to deal with it in real life, I suppose I can take a little online angst too.

Well, that's it from me for today. Now to stop my younger brother from whatever the hell he's doing on the back roof. It's making a heck lotta noise...